Loneliness

How does someone define loneliness? A state of mind when a person experiences a sense of emptiness and isolation. It’s more than a feeling of being with someone, because one can be lonely even amidst people. Modern man might be jostling for space amidst the chaotic traffic but the inner loneliness seems to be getting louder and louder within him. Loneliness creates such hollowness that nothing seems or feels right.
Couples sometimes experience loneliness even when they are with their partners or spouses. Even after years of being together one partner may feel sheer emptiness or hollowness. People can be lonely even when they are in love and even when they are out of love. When in love sometimes the feeling of loneliness instead of being the reason for bonding tends to be the reason for arguments. And when out of love loneliness can be frustrating. One then needs to put special effort to get rid of past emotional baggage and decide what one really wants in life to move on.
Why is loneliness such a powerful feeling? Because loneliness once creeps suddenly changes an individual’s perception of everything around. A walk on the beach, walk in the woods, gazing at the star-lit sky no longer seem appealing. Loneliness then becomes a curse and then during those moments of loneliness we realize who we are and then our egos, our weaknesses and all such emotions suddenly start revealing themselves and create an unknown fear in us.
And to avoid our own company we take recourse to music, books, television, internet etc. Do all these means really help in escaping from ourselves? On the contrary they equip us with such knowledge that we create a world for ourselves in which self identity and constant comparison seem the only means of survival. We constantly compare ourselves as being tall, short, rich, poor, educated, uneducated, beautiful, handsome etc and our whole life revolves in our struggle to become what we are not. A mediocre aims to be an intelligent person; a poor guy looks for means to amass wealth.

But when we are alone, we do not have anyone to compare ourselves with as there are no standards to judge ourselves. Therein lies the real beauty, as there are no masks, no make ups. We have nothing to hide from ourselves. Each one of us has a beautiful world within ourselves waiting to be explored. But how many of us have the courage to traverse the path of self discovery all alone.

Age of Gods

Reading a mythological story at bedtime yesterday my daughter provided me a query at night, 'What's the age of each God and who is the youngest God' ? I was for a moment speechless. Well the thought never occured to me. I knew for sure that we have certain days when birthdays of Gods are celebrated, but I for sure did not know the age of any God. I answered telling that we human beings started celebrating God's birthdays on certain days and those days are celebrated as festivals.

Her reaction was mixed. She said that she was sad for Gods could never celebrate their birthdays during their lifetime and that they were so unlucky. But she felt very happy for herself. She realized that she is more lucky than the Gods above as she can celebrate her birthday. She also has the freedom to choose her birthday cake, decide the venue of her birthday, decide return gifts etc and she knows her correct age too.

She gave me a goodnight hug and told " Mom, I am so lucky I am not a God and I still have so many birthdays to celebrate' and drifted off to sleep maybe imagining how she would celebrate her remaining birthdays. Next day she woke up and was in a mad rush to get ready to school. I was surprised to see her getting ready before time. When asked she replied that she wants to share with her friends that how happy they all are to have been born as simple people and not as Gods.

How I wished, then listening to her innocent response, does every person born in this universe also feel the same happiness as my daughter in being born just as a normal human being.........

Wish I was

Wish I was the Sun to give light to everyone
Wish I was the Moon to guide the lonely traveller
Wish I was a tree to give shade to everyone
Wish I was a fruit to feed a hungry mouth
Wish I was a flower to give fragrance to everyone
Wish I was the river to quench everyone's thirst
Wish I was the cool air to give breeze to everyone
But alas I am a human, who doesnot give anything to anyone!!!!!

Back to nature

It was during my stay in Northeast when I casually mentioned to my friend that I would love to plan a trip of a different nature, may be a jungle trek, a night out in jungle. She said ‘Visit Nameri, an eco-camp’ and all my dreams would turn true. I couldn’t believe my ears, but then she gave me all the details and we left with another couple in tow. We reached Tezpur in Assam on a cold March afternoon and the driver of our van told that Nameri is just a twenty minute drive from there.
I was so excited and so was everybody at the thought of entering a jungle, spending a night there. After all my dream of visiting an offbeat place was about to turn into a reality.
Suddenly we saw a rustic signboard’ Way to eco-camp’ and our vehicle hit a muddy track. The path was full of huge flowering trees and the only vehicles accompanying us were a few army convoys. There were mud hutments, the temperatures suddenly dropped down and air was full of cool breeze. All of us were so engrossed enjoying the beauty of the nature that we didn’t realize that we reached our destination. We got down of our van to be welcomed by a six-foot Assamese chap who was beckoning us in his flawless English with an American accent and explaining about the camp.
We were awestruck with the serene ambience. It was so beautiful. We were provided accommodation in ethnic cottages and tents which had all modern amenities inside. The cottages were so colorfully decorated with bamboo furniture. The absence of television, telephone network made us feel one with nature. The eco camp is adjacent to the Nameri National Park. With the river Jaibhoroli bifurcating the park, it is the most scenic of all the national parks of Assam. In the evening we were invited to a camp fire to enjoy the traditional Bihu folk dance of Assam.
The next day saw us rise early and we crossed the river to start our 10 km jungle trek accompanied by a forest guide. Nameri is home to some of the endangered species like, Sambar, Gaur, varieties of Hornbill and many other winged species. A jungle walk spotting hornbills, watching fresh footprints of elephants, hearing the roar of wild animals, sound of bison’s drinking water from the river, listening to chirping of various birds were few of the best moments I could enjoy on this thick tropical jungle terrain. But there were still lots the camp had to offer. Rafting is a major activity in this river full of rapids. We did rafting for 17 kms on the icy river and ate a freshly cooked lunch in a small river island out in the open enjoying the scenic beauty.
How refreshed I felt being in the lap of nature providing fresh air to my lungs and away from the hustle and bustle of maddening city life with its pollution, choking traffic. A nostalgic trip which will always remain etched in my memory.