How does someone define loneliness? A state of mind when a person experiences a sense of emptiness and isolation. It’s more than a feeling of being with someone, because one can be lonely even amidst people. Modern man might be jostling for space amidst the chaotic traffic but the inner loneliness seems to be getting louder and louder within him. Loneliness creates such hollowness that nothing seems or feels right.
Couples sometimes experience loneliness even when they are with their partners or spouses. Even after years of being together one partner may feel sheer emptiness or hollowness. People can be lonely even when they are in love and even when they are out of love. When in love sometimes the feeling of loneliness instead of being the reason for bonding tends to be the reason for arguments. And when out of love loneliness can be frustrating. One then needs to put special effort to get rid of past emotional baggage and decide what one really wants in life to move on.
Why is loneliness such a powerful feeling? Because loneliness once creeps suddenly changes an individual’s perception of everything around. A walk on the beach, walk in the woods, gazing at the star-lit sky no longer seem appealing. Loneliness then becomes a curse and then during those moments of loneliness we realize who we are and then our egos, our weaknesses and all such emotions suddenly start revealing themselves and create an unknown fear in us.
And to avoid our own company we take recourse to music, books, television, internet etc. Do all these means really help in escaping from ourselves? On the contrary they equip us with such knowledge that we create a world for ourselves in which self identity and constant comparison seem the only means of survival. We constantly compare ourselves as being tall, short, rich, poor, educated, uneducated, beautiful, handsome etc and our whole life revolves in our struggle to become what we are not. A mediocre aims to be an intelligent person; a poor guy looks for means to amass wealth.
But when we are alone, we do not have anyone to compare ourselves with as there are no standards to judge ourselves. Therein lies the real beauty, as there are no masks, no make ups. We have nothing to hide from ourselves. Each one of us has a beautiful world within ourselves waiting to be explored. But how many of us have the courage to traverse the path of self discovery all alone.
3 comments:
Man is a social animal and in today’s world, physical loneliness is quite a rare happening. But at a psychological level, loneliness, today is more of a reality than ever before. Modern day man is more knowledgeable than ever before. Today mental energy is expended more than physical energy. Human mind works today more than ever before. Fast paced life leaves very little time for us to understand ourselves. Life, sometimes, seems to be moving faster than we can cope up. It is at these moments that we feel left alone. A sense of loneliness creeps on to us. Our over worked mind starts playing it again and again. The feeling of being unloved starts biting into our everyday existence. Mother Teresa once said that the most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved. It can happen to anyone.
Our parents, who cared and always care for us, feel lonely when in our quest to succeed in this rat race, fail to even spend a few minutes with them every day, fail to call them up atleast once every day. They wonder, where they have gone wrong in their upbringing of their children that they have become so aloof. At an age, where they would have loved to look back at their life with a sense of fulfilment, a sense of satisfaction, instead turns to gloom, in utter loneliness.
Loneliness in marriage is, ofcourse, most omnipresent. A great playwright had once said, “If you are scared of loneliness, do not marry”.
As for the rat race, it leaves every one lonely. The person who gets left behind gets into a shell and feels lonely. Loneliness than bites into his confidence and cuts him off from people he loves and people whom he loved. Loneliness multiplies loneliness. As for the successful, it is said that it is always lonely at the top. Einstein said, “It is strange to be know so universally and yet be so lonely”.
Loneliness is not solitude. I have often felt more lonely in big parties in cities than at my workplace which is a remote location with only a couple of people around. Solitude gives us time to reflect and to think. Loneliness, on the other hand, practically immobilizes our mind.
Children are never lonely. The moment, they feel lonely, they run to their mother. On the other hand, adult-hood makes us lonely. Adult-hood, with our egos, our complexes, our hatred, makes us build walls, where we need to build bridges. A break in communication with our loved ones condemns us to further loneliness. Loneliness breaks our spirit and affects our well-being.
We may have been born alone and die alone, but to live in loneliness is a curse. An Urdu poet had said, “Zindagi zinda dilli ka naam hai, murde kya khaak jiya karte hain”. Self discovery is possible in solitude but not in loneliness.
Hi, Radhika! You are very profound. I think the loneliness that grabs us at times comes, as you say, when we can no longer run away from ourselves. When we can no longer fool ourselves into thinking how very good and wonderful and noble we are and have to face ourselves, it's painful & overwhelming. And contrasting that with the huge, impressive, grand and beautiful way in which the larger landscapes and skyscapes overtake us can leave us feeling pretty "little", both physically and emotionally. And then we have nothing left but to throw ourselves on divine mercy and love. Because there's no way, if we keep on being honest with ourselves in those times, that we can create for ourselves a better view of ourselves. Take care. I wonder if we'll ever meet in the "real" world outside of this cyber-world? You must be a fascinating person to speak with.
very well written very true too.you have given a true picture of lonliness which each one of us undergo.
asha
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